(no subject)

Ok so what is the big fucking deal? Chris and I keep meeting with his lawyer for no reason. We are no closer to a divorce than we were before. There is no way in hell that asshole is going to have my kid. He was to see her and not pay childsupport. He is out of his fucking mind. I will not be fucked over. He also has a girl friend who is around my child. I could just kill him sometimes. I just wish he would go away.

(no subject)

Well here I am again. I am not sure what to do.
I am not able to pay my bills. I am still having to live with friends. I am just pissy. I am moving out of here and I am moving in with another friend b/c this one has pissed me off. LONG story. Anyway...
I guess I will just be pissy.
Fuck it.

(no subject)

I have not posted in awhile. I am doing good. Still no divorce papers. Dr says Faith has some kind of breathing problems like asthma. I have made new friends. I met a guy, Ryan. He is such a sweetie.
I am trying to just be me and be happy.

(no subject)

AND I still have not gotten my divorce papers. Chris is being such an ass. He keeps asking for money for bills that he told me he would pay. UGH!

(no subject)

So far my birthday sucks ass. A friend was supposed to come a visit. She did not even call to say she wasn't coming. She still has not called/ returned my calls. Also I was supposed to get Faith today, but b/c I got pissed last night b/c Chris left Faith at his mom's last night instead of watching her himself... It is his weekend. So he told me that I was a bitch ass and that I could not have Faith on my birthday. I was going to get her and take her to lunch and to the park. Fuck him. I am going out tonight. I am going to have a good time and fuck everyone who has ever hurt me.
  • Current Mood
    pissed off pissed off

(no subject)

I will finally get my divorce papers tomorrow. Last year I got them on my birthday. This year I will get them the day before. Oh fun!
I pissed with Chris. He told me he had nothing for me that he did not love me he did not care about me, etc. then he told me I was crazy and I needed to go back to the doctor and get my head checked again and get my meds upped. Ok so none of this really bothered me. BUT the stupid fuck had the balls to tell me I needed a book on mothering b/c I was a bad mother. Oh my God. I could have killed him. It is good thing I was holding Faith. He is such a dick. Anyway fuck him. I am a good mom and I know in my heart that I am. It is when I take Faith to his house that she holds onto her car seat and won't let go and cries "no no no mama please" And I am the bad parent? She is ALWAYS happy to see me.
Anyway, it is my birthday on Sat. I am excited. I just want to go out and have a good times with my friends. I was hoping for a weekend of sex, but I think I may start my period. I am sooo lucky.
I am having mixed emtions about everything. I just want to go to bed.
Good night everyone!

(no subject)

I was ok about my divorce. I am not any more.
I am so sad a depressed that I cannot breathe.
I feel so alone. I hate this feeling.
Why can't I be happy? I am such a terrible person that I deserve to feel this way?
I miss Chris. I know it is stupid. I am pissed at myself b/c I miss him and yes, I still love him.
I hurt.

I DID IT!!!

Yes, I did get laid. Thank you carabelle_jenn for not telling anyone it was me. LOL
It was not the best I have ever had, but at the same time it was great. I feel better. I am not so bitchy and I was actually nice to people today.
Except for Chris and I still say FUCK HIM!
Faith is sick again. She is back on breathing treatments and is now taking steroids. It worries me. I don't like my baby being sick. I would rather that it was me.
Oh, just to entertain you all... the guy I had sex with knows Chris (through Gerald, the roommate) and hung out at his house last week.
Oh well. I had sex so I don't care. And yes, I will be going back for more.
I feel great. I just need a guy who wants it all the time like me. You know like everyday... 2 or 3 times even.
And Jenn... I love you too and I support lesbian sex also. Oh, when you come for my birthday and you better... you can have some. I will share. You know you and I can always share. One more thing, I called Jason and offered what you and I talked about. I left a message on his voice mail... no reply yet. That bitch is gone and we are back. I have really missed us. We seriously need to live closer b/c Chris is gone and
I AM BACK!!!!
I love me! :)
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    satisfied satisfied